Times are a Changing

And more uncertain than ever

The (attempted) Comeback

How do you know you haven't blogged in a really really real-ly long while: you cant remember how to add a new post. So its that time of year again when the year is about to end and you wonder (just for the heck of writing your blog so you can put off starting your major assignment- im sick of writing in the second person so now I) have i accomplished enough?Wow this is boring me too.ugh i feel sick.Too much food in my tummy..*pukey*

I'll tell you what i have done through out the year-obsess, obsess over my weight. Its been over a year and i haven't eaten an entire or even half a packet of king chips.Or had a proper slice of cake (unless i'm skipping lunch and going right to dessert) but now my body is rebelling, it wants more, no longer will banana and yogurt suffice, it wants pasta that everyone else on the table is having( or maybe that's just my lack of self control).But the point of this rambling is that i miss being carefree. I miss having a burger and a chocolate sundae in one meal-happier times. However, nostalgia and my very compelling sweet tooth are over powered by-well Kate Moss puts it quite accurately-"nothing tastes as good as skinny feels". While, i don't live by this, whats scary is that i wish i did. I may roll my eyes every time there is a comment about my insanity,but honestly, i know its true (well not entirely-denial?). I count calories, i wanted a weighing scale for my birthday, i constantly want to be reassured that I'm not fat, if i could i may even have kind of starved my self, its disconcerting, its obsessive, its true.

Obsession-its turned me into a girl obsessed.

So Sunday is over..well almost

1. Cleaned my room( didnt affect inhabitability levels-now there is a big fat lizard lurking in here somewhere)
2. Did my bit for the report
3. Made brilliant( yet do-able) plans of completing two chapters of org.behaviour
4. Wasted 3/4 of the day (yes that means i did no ob)

Must study!
Switching off relax-mode now.*click*

Change

The green was making me sick, but this white hurts the eyes..i really cant decide which one to go with..This post is quite pointless but "updating my blog" sounds a lot better than "procrastinating"..ergo "change"-not only brought about by its inevitable nature but also by my indecisiveness..green?white?

The blog must go on

*numb*.*blank*..also i'm not the non-stressor i thought i was. I think i mistook the defensive-shut down for calmness..oh well its a revelation none the less..those are always helpful ..right?

Me?

The discomfort the word "passion" arises in me is truly..a local phenomenon*laughs to self*. Passions define us, our individuality, or atleast that is the popular belief. So i guess i've got "them" to thank for the feeling of absolute inadequacy that jolts up every time we are asked to talk about our passions (or interests-as they are subtly put). So why not find one,fill in the empty hole-because i don't think i have it in me to deal with the dissonance that would result. I'd rather be the one who 'errs' and 'umms' to bide the time..till the next question is asked. Erm..Next question please?

Me?

The discomfort the word "passion" arises in me is truly..a local phenomenon.